PEACE IN CHAOS

I was meeting him after a long time. Metro was the only option to commute. I chose to enter in one of the general compartments with him, just to be polite to him. Today was different. I had dressed up for him. I was clad in a colorful dupatta over white kurta and was wearing my favorite silver jhumkas and white bindi. I did not know how it would have affected him. But I made a conscious effort to look pretty, for him. And I was nervous. Earlier I had walked in the metro station where he was already waiting for me. I had looked at him and had expected him to say something perhaps nice. But he simply asked, “Which station are we getting off at?” That was typical him.

I was standing next to him. We kept looking at each other. The initial hesitation faded away and we started talking normally. It felt like old times when he was making fun of my hair style, of my random thoughts and contrastingly colorful attire. I never took offence. I, as a matter of fact, quite enjoyed his banter and our laughing trips. I did not quite recollect how and when I had fallen in love with him. It was always about sunny mornings, meaningful inconsequential conversations and smiles. I had gotten used to him. I did not give two hoots about all the talks that were going around about us because nothing mattered. Only he did. We had gotten close and before we realized, we were sharing our good, bad and ugly stories with each other. Stories for me are important. They mark a very important foundation in any relationship. Like two best friends, we swore never to disclose our secrets to anyone. We started spending every waking hour together, really and virtually. 

The metro came to a screeching halt and broke my train of thoughts. It kept stopping at stations every two to four minutes. I was not keeping a track of time because our stop was far off. People kept walking in and out of our compartment. I wasn’t particularly looking at anybody. I was enjoying his company. There were moments when I had wanted people around us to freeze so that I could steal a kiss or two from him. There were unsaid reasons and one fine or not so fine day, we stopped talking. He was lost in his own time and space which I could not be a part of. It was after a long time he had thought of taking out time for me and that meant something to me. My sole purpose that day was to be happy and let him be happy. 

We got off at our stop and went out in search of this old and dilapidated building where we had to take photos for some journal he was maintaining. There was a nip in the air.  I stood for a moment to observe how scores of people were just carrying on with their chores with no care of the world. We took a rickshaw to the majestic build, albeit in ruins. It was beautiful. I was a little distracted by the architectural splendor of whatever structure that remained; and faces and activities of the people there. But I kept listening to his stories too. Faint sun rays filled the courtyard, so people gathered there to soak in some warmth and forget about the harshness of the wintry day for some time. Children were running around, a few were flying kites too. There were people taking photographs while some were simply sitting quietly lost in their own thoughts. Amidst the chaos, there was so much peace in that place. We sat there for a while. Flock of birds in a pattern which only they comprehended flew away homewards while we waited for the sun to set. It was time for us to go home too.

We again took the metro. It was crowded. We had to struggle for space. We were talking less now.  I did not know when I was going to meet him next, if we would have stories to tell each other if we did meet. How things had changed between us - from being strangers to two peas in a pod to two strangers seeking familiarity in each other’s presence. There were only unanswered questions in my mind. Did I want those answers? May be not. It was good this way. I looked out of the window to see myriads of people passing by without casting any impression on my mind. I just kept wishing the metro got more crowded so that he stood really close to me and I could smell him, look into the depth of his eyes and feel the warmth of his breath. Strange desires.